Memories of a Highlander Page 4

  “Sorry, Eleanor, I shouldn’t have looked, I didn’t mean to, but it just popped out of the blanket and ye looked so beautiful I couldn’t stop. Ye can be angry with me later, but we should make a start on getting ye back home”.

  I heard Eleanor dress without comment, and hold out the blanket to me. I resaddled Shadow, and we rode as before, but I was careful to keep a small distance between Eleanor and myself. We rode for a while, Eleanor showing the way, but we didn’t speak. I regretted my lapse, but didn’t know what to do about it. As I wracked my brains, I noticed that as we had ridden closer to her family’s keep, the surrounding houses had appeared and people came out to watch us, eerily quiet. I realised why as we drew closer, when a mounted guard surrounded us. As instructed, I surrendered my weapons, and we rode the rest of the way in the middle of a host of armed guards. When we dismounted, I was checked for concealed weapons before we were told we would be taken to see Eleanor’s father. At this stage I just knew that Lachlan must have returned and decided to cover his sins by making trouble for Eleanor.

  We were ushered into Eleanor’s father’s solar, and the man stood up from behind his desk, looking me up and down before making his way to Eleanor, grasping her cheek and inspecting the bruise which had formed after her rough handling from Lachlan. He turned to me.

  “What do ye have to say for yerself, ye swine? I must say I am surprised that ye had the cheek to return here after despoiling my daughter. I didn’t know who it was who had tempted her from righteousness, but I should not have been surprised to find it was a McGarrow!”

  Before I could answer his accusations, Eleanor jumped in.

  “Da! What are ye talking about! Donald saved me, he didn’t hurt me!”

  Eleanor’s father turned to her, snarling. I was taken aback by his anger, I would have though he would have heard his daughter out before making any decisions, but clearly it was too late. My mind started processing what might possibly happen next, and assessing what I could do without weapons.

  “Shut up girl! Lachlan told me everything! How he followed ye to yer secret assignation, and how he tried to stop ye running off with yer lover! It’s no surprise that he’s withdrawn his offer and left, especially when he was sporting the injuries from trying to protect yer virtue! What am I going to do with ye now?”

  “But Da, Lachlan lied to ye, he lied to us all. It wasn’t like that, he followed me yes, but I wasn’t meeting anyone, how could I have arranged anything, ye had me under guard all the time! Donald protected me, it’s Donald who protected my virtue, Lachlan tried to do something awful to me!”

  “Do ye expect me to believe any of that? Obviously ye had a secret helper, ye must have been getting messages out to this man for a long time. No wonder ye didn’t want to get married, ye had a lover on the side for how long? And ye had me fooled that ye didn’t want to get married! Well, it looks like ye got yer way, girl, who will marry ye now?”

  “I will”, I said, surprising everyone, not least of all myself. Eleanor, her father, and a quiet woman, who I had noticed sitting in the corner of the room, gasped, and I felt the guard at my back poke his sword into my spine just a little. I stood my ground.

  “Ye choose not to believe yer daughter, which is a shame, but nothing can be done about that. She speaks the truth. I saw that man try to dishonour her yesterday, and pulled him off her. We had to take shelter in one of yer outlying huts last night, and although I swear I respected your daughter’s virtue, I doubt ye will believe me. I can see that Eleanor’s life here will be very unhappy after this, and I worry that ye will let her attacker get close to her again. I don’t have a wife myself, and I know that my brother’s wife, Mary, likes Eleanor, so it seems to me ye can solve all your problems by marrying your daughter to me and letting us go on our way. That’s of course, if yer daughter wants to marry me, she might decide to take her chances here”.

  As I said this last, I looked at Eleanor, hoping that she would know what I was trying to do. Her father might eventually believe her, or he might not, but her position here in this house would be very difficult after this. Clearly this Lachlan had spread enough lies around for people to believe that Eleanor was not chaste, and the scandal might prevent her from finding a good husband later on, someone who would treat her as she deserved to be treated. I didn’t know how we could make this marriage work, but I was willing to try. The other woman whimpered, but Eleanor’s father puffed himself up even further.

  The McDonnell turned to me, first grasping Eleanor’s face again and turning the bruised side so that I could see it. I was about to deny striking her, but the way he phrased his next question caught me off guard.

  “Do ye deny ye ever struck Eleanor?” I hesitated, still ashamed of the tackle I had laid on her all those months ago, and not realising the conclusion he would draw from my confusion. “Well, if that wasn’t proof enough, I don’t know what is. If ye weren’t lovers, why would someone who is almost a stranger to ye want to marry ye, Eleanor? Be it no mind, I accept yer suit, Donald McGarrow. But don’t lay a hand on my daughter in anger again or ye will answer to me.” He turned back to Eleanor, letting go of her head with a force that made her stagger. I moved towards her but stopped at the feel of the sword digging into my back. Eleanor’s father continued. “I think in the circumstances, we will dispense with the banns and get the priest to marry ye before she starts showing and disgraces herself further.”

  I looked at Eleanor who was standing quietly, and was saddened to see the shock and grief on her face. She nodded and followed her mother from the room. The guards left to take up a position outside the door, and her father turned to pour a whiskey for us.

  “Well, I must say, I’m surprised that ye were so quick to agree to marry my daughter, McGarrow. Not many men would marry a woman who would let them have their way before the wedding. Maybe ye are more honourable than I thought, although it bothers me that ye struck her. I know she can be vexing, but I dinna want to see her hurt.”

  I sat forward and stared the older man down. I was unaccountably sad that this man would think the worst of his daughter, when she had done nothing wrong and needed his love and support now more than ever. By now, I knew that his opinion of me was so low that there was no point in denying that I had hit his daughter, he would not have believed me, and I just wanted to get Eleanor away and somewhere where she would be safe and cared for.

  “Let me make this perfectly clear, McDonnell. I have not dishonoured yer daughter. I told ye the truth before. But I do think she is beautiful and brave and deserves to be treated better than ye are treating her. And I also fear that ye will give her to that Lachlan fool who would abuse her and hurt her. One day ye will realise what a mistake ye have made, but by then it might be too late. Don’t leave it too long to decide that yer daughter is the one ye should be believing, not some evil doer who didn’t even have the courage to stay and face me. If ye had seen what I saw yesterday, ye would have wanted to kill him yerself, I know I did, and I still do. Now, where’s this priest? I want to get away from this place, and take Eleanor to a family who will love her like she deserves to be loved”.

  Eleanor’s father couldn’t wait to get rid of us after my little speech. I think he may even have been starting to doubt himself, but by then it was too late. We were quickly married, to the snickers of those uncharitable souls who were prepared to believe the worst of Eleanor, then I put my wife on the front of my horse, declining even the offer of a horse of her own. I did not want anything from these people except the woman I held in my arms. We rode slowly away, while I tried to ignore the silent tears that I knew were falling from Eleanor’s eyes as she looked at what was familiar to her, for what she must have thought was the last time.

  Eleanor

  I sat in front of Donald, unable to relax for the entire journey, for if I had leaned in to him he would surely have felt me shake as I cried. I tried to cry silently, still in shock at what had happened the day before, and the horror of my father’s reje
ction of me today. My mother had tried to make excuses as she took me to change into some clothes that were better suited for travelling, but I could not hear her through my misery. I think she was trying to tell me how to appease Donald so that he would not hit me any more, and I looked at her, disbelieving that she could think such a thing of Donald, or that if she did, that she could stand by and watch me marry him. I held my head high during the brief marriage service, knowing that there were some unkind people present who were laughing at my predicament, and refusing to let them know that I could hear their whispers and laughs. I rode out of the only home I had ever known, without looking back. When I had needed my family most, they had failed me. The only person who had done right by me was the man who was now my husband.

  Donald did not push his horse, as it was carrying a double load, and for that I was thankful. I was terrified of what would happen when we reached his home. Even though Donald had married me out of the goodness of his heart, he was still my husband and would surely expect me to share his bed this night. I didn’t think that he would treat me roughly, or hurt me as Lachlan would have done, but the memories of my struggles yesterday were still fresh and I was not looking forward to letting Donald do to me what I had resisted Lachlan doing. Any interest that I had previously had in finding out what it felt like when a man and a woman engaged in the sexual act was long gone. Lachlan’s violence and obvious depravity had chased it away. Maybe I had misunderstood what I had seen before, maybe the moans were not of pleasure, but of pain.

  I froze in fear when Donald stopped his horse in a wooded area after a couple of hours, thinking that maybe he had decided not to wait until we reached his keep, but after dismounting and helping me down, Donald indicated that we should sit and eat. I hoped he had not noticed my hesitation as he unpacked the cloth bundle he held.

  “It appears that ye still have some friends amongst yer kin. The cook passed this to me while ye were getting ready to travel. I wanted to refuse, I didn’t want to take anything from yer family, but we didn’t eat this morning, and barely at all last night, and it will be late by the time we get home at this pace”.

  I was hungrier than I had realised, and ate as much of the simple food as I could. Cook had packed bread, and cheese, some salted meat and some fruit. There was also a flagon of wine which Donald and I shared. After the meal, we both parted to find some privacy in the bushes for bladder relief, then Donald lifted me back onto his horse again. I felt better after the meal, and after it became clear that Donald would not molest me on the road. As we rode, I thought back over Donald’s conduct, and decided that I was being unfair to him. He had shown me nothing but courtesy and care, had treated me better than my own family had, had been unfailingly gentle, and had taken on a burden that should not even have been his own problem. Even if he had only wanted to protect me, he had effectively tied himself to me for the rest of his life, as we were now married. I thought over everything he had said to my father, and realised that he had not said that he was looking for a wife, yet now he had one. I worried about what would happen if he ever met a woman he would have wanted to marry, but was stuck with me, and knew this was a very real possibility. Donald was a good man, and a very handsome and strong one besides, and there must be plenty of women who would wish themselves to be me right now. I thought that I would be happy to trade places with them, and not be married to Donald, then realised that was wrong. If I had to be married, Donald would make a better husband than anyone I had ever met, and I could have done a lot worse. I could have found myself married to Lachlan. My eyes closed as that terrible thought came to me, and I again thought I could feel his shaft push against my leg as he tried to force me. I didn’t know how I was going to get through tonight, no matter how gentle Donald tried to be with me.

  Finally, we rode up to the gates of the keep in the early evening, the meal must have begun as the gates were closed and Donald had to shout for admission up to the top of the wall. We left the horse with a servant in the stable, and Donald took my hand as we approached the hall. He looked at me on the threshold, and smiled a grim smile.

  “Are ye ready? It is best if we get this done quickly, like removing a bandage that has been stuck to a wound!”

  I shouted with laughter at Donald’s description of the announcement of our marriage, and as I did, Donald pulled me forward into the room. I looked towards the head table, listening to the room fall quiet as Donald approached his parents. I caught Mary’s eye, she smiled at me encouragingly, albeit looking from me to Donald in confusion, then Donald drew to a halt in front of his family. His father was the first to speak.

  “Donald? What happened to ye last night? Ye did not return. Is this the McDonnell lassie? Surely ye didn’t catch her in the stables again?”

  A few titters ran around the room, then silence fell again as Donald stepped close to me and put his arm around my shoulders.

  “No, Da. This was Eleanor McDonnell. Now she is Eleanor McGarrow. I would like to introduce my wife to the assembly”.

  There was an instant uproar, and Liam was the first to round the table and clap Donald on the back. Mary approached soon after, I looked at her form and realised that she must have already birthed the babe as she was as tiny as I had known her before. I thought I heard Liam saying something like “about time” to Donald, but couldn’t be sure as the woman I knew to be Donald’s mother rushed me, hugging me tight and welcoming me to her family. Tears began falling at her quick acceptance, she did not ask how, or why, she just accepted that it was done, and seemed happy for her son. I stole a glance at Liam’s father, who was watching me with narrowed eyes, then he shouted for silence.

  “Well, it appears that Donald has surprised us all, and I am sure there is a story to tell, but for now, the newlyweds must be hungry after their journey, and I know I am!”

  The uncomfortable moment was glossed over, but I was sure that Donald’s father would have questions to ask later.

  Straight after the meal, we were ushered into the laird’s solar, followed by Liam. Donald’s mother and Mary had left to prepare Donald’s chamber for my arrival, and I sat where bidden, trying to control my breathing as I felt the panic rising. Donald stood behind my chair and placed his big hands on my shoulders, and I derived much comfort from this simple gesture as he told our story. Liam stood up angrily when Donald told the story of seeing Lachlan assault me, but thankfully Donald spared me too much embarrassment by not detailing how close Lachlan was to completing his assault.

  “Did ye skewer the bas-, ah sorry, Eleanor, I should not curse in front of ye, but the villain deserved no less for such evil deeds”.

  “Sit down Liam, or the tale will never be told”, gruffed his father. He turned back to Donald, but threw curious glances my way as he continued. “Donald, I am proud of ye for standing up to such a violent and cruel man, but that still doesn’t explain how ye ended up married to each other”.

  So Donald explained how we had been caught in the storm, and had to spend the night alone in the shelter, and how Lachlan had gone straight back to my home to poison my family’s minds against me. The laird looked at me in disbelief.

  “So, they would not believe ye? Who is this man that they chose to believe him instead of their own child?”

  I drew a breath. I could not understand it all myself, but knew my answer would explain a little, but not enough.

  “He is a distant cousin of my clan, and his family have grown to some importance now, but I do not know why my father puts so much faith in his word. I know it is not charitable to say so, but he has always disturbed me, I have always been uncomfortable around him”.

  Donald’s hands tightened on my shoulders as his father’s face softened towards us.

  “Well, that is yer women’s instincts talking to ye. Ye obviously sensed the evil in him, even if ye did not know what it was. Anyway, it is of no matter now. Ye made a choice to join our family, and I hope that yer faith in us to treat ye well is not misplaced. I know it is
only a father talking, but I know my sons are good men and are men of their word. If Donald has pledged to look after ye, then ye could not find better anywhere”.

  “That’s not so, Da,” said Liam in mock outrage, “I would have made a better husband, but since I am already married, I think Eleanor has made a good second choice”.

  Donald leaned over to gently punch his brother on the shoulder, and I smiled, having seen this kind of behaviour between my own brothers. Then the smile left me as I knew I would probably never see my brothers again. As much as they annoyed me, I still loved them and I would miss them. Donald must have felt the tension return to my body, as he spoke quietly.

  “If ye have no further questions for us tonight, it has been a long day, after an uncomfortable night. We were riding all day, after all the drama of the morning, so I would like to get Eleanor to bed, if ye don’t mind us leaving ye”.

  I could not look at either Liam or his father, feeling myself flush at what they must be thinking. Even though our marriage had been unconventional, this was still our first night as man and wife, and they would know that Donald intended to make me his wife in more than name. Donald led the way out of the solar, and as we headed towards the hall to go up the stairs to Donald’s room, he stilled, appearing to be listening.

  “What’s the matter?” I asked, trusting his warrior’s instincts. I was horrified to see him pale.

  “Oh no, I forgot that this would happen. Eleanor, ye just have to be strong and ignore everyone, I promise that it will be over soon”.

  Before I could ask what he was talking about, we stepped into the hall and were immediately surrounded by people. I felt myself grabbed, and was on the point of screaming when I felt Donald’s large hand grab mine in reassurance. I gulped back my scream, knowing that he would not let anything happen to me, and then my panic shifted to fear of a different kind as I felt myself being lifted, and carried up the stairs. I looked around, and relaxed a little as I realised that everyone seemed to be happy and smiling, no-one seemed to be angry or threatening. I was placed with my feet down on the floor of a bed chamber, then spun around to face the door. Then the crowd parted to reveal Donald, also being carried into the room, the faces of the men flushed red with the strain of carrying this large man up the stairs. Donald was placed on his feet facing me, and just as people were withdrawing from the room, someone pushed him hard so that he stumbled towards me, knocking me to the bed and falling on top of me. With a final loud roar of approval, the door slammed behind the crowd, and Donald leapt up to drop the bolt in place, turning to look at me with apprehension on his face. I was frozen in terror, when Donald’s large form had covered me, it had reminded me of how powerless I had felt underneath Lachlan only the day before. I scrambled backwards across the bed, falling to the floor on the other side and keeping the big bed between us. Suddenly I didn’t know how I was going to get through tonight. Donald looked at me beseechingly, then slid down the door to sit on the floor, surprising me. He sat there, cross legged, and spoke quietly.