Sarah's Journey Read online

  19.

  I checked into the hotel and found my room. Emily and I had paid extra so that we could check in straight after the ship docked, rather than having to wait until the regular afternoon check in time. Now I was glad we did, as I would have some time completely by myself, away from people who may have witnessed my humiliation.

  After my stateroom on the ship, the hotel room seemed huge, but probably wasn’t any bigger than any other room. It was set up with two queen sized beds, and as one was nearer the window and the view of the harbour, I dumped my bags on the other. I put my phone on to charge and walked to the window to stare at the ship, which was just visible over the top of the passenger terminal. It had been a wonderful trip, and I had enjoyed my time with Adam, right up until that scene in Suva. I stared out of the window unseeingly for a while, then came to my senses with a start. This would not do! Just because things hadn’t worked out with Adam, didn’t mean that my life had to stop. Something that Judy had said came back to me – she thought I was strong. I stood up straighter and realized that Judy had seen something in me that I had not known up until now. I was strong. Even though I had thought my world was coming to an end when Nathan had left, it didn’t, and I not only survived but I had then built a better life for myself. I made more friends, some of them were far better friends than I had appreciated until now. I had learned about my creative side and developed my talent, and I had managed to look after myself, my cat, my unit, my house and find a new job when I needed one. There was no reason why I couldn’t bounce back from this drama over Adam. I knew that my feelings for him were far deeper than they were for Nathan, but I was older and more mature, and would find a way to work through this. Although things looked bleak at the moment, I was sure that in time, things would get better.

  So I decided to stop moping around, and enjoy myself exploring this city. I grabbed a bag with a few essentials in it, and headed out. I started in The Rocks itself, exploring the many quirky little streets and stairways (for the area was built on a hilly site) and reading the many plaques set in walls and pathways which explained about the history of the area. I then headed into the shopping district of Sydney, shopping for myself and my friends, and grabbing a snack when I got hungry. I also stopped at a cheesy souvenir shop, as I saw something in the window that caught my eye. A bottle opener with the Harbour Bridge on it. Not knowing why I bought it, as I didn’t expect to see Adam again, I still did.

  In the early afternoon I stood at Circular Quay looking at ferry time-tables. I decided to get on the first ferry that came. Balmain. That sounded interesting. As I had never been there before, it had to be full of new sights. I spent the rest of the afternoon in this way, getting on and off ferries at random, exploring the area around the ferry station, then going on to somewhere new. In the late afternoon I found myself at Manly, and went for a walk along the beach.

  All of the time, of course I had been thinking. My thoughts were full of “what ifs” and the like. Of course I had many memories of Adam, and images of him kept flashing into my mind. Adam laughing at a joke someone had made, Adam looking surprised at me when I said something odd, Adam leaning in to kiss me – I really had to stop this or I was going to get flustered. I found a sandwich place that made a good sandwich to go, and took it on the ferry to eat on the way back to Circular Quay. Tomorrow I needed to find something to occupy my mind instead of just my feet. I had forgotten to even take the camera with me, and I had been to so many places that I would probably never even go again! As the ferry sailed back to Circular Quay, the ship that had been my home for the last 11 nights sailed past, heading towards the heads and off on another adventure. That caused me a little moment of sadness, but again I determined to pull myself together.

  On arriving back at the hotel, I realized that it had a rooftop pool and barbecue. I took my camera up there, and after seeing the magnificent view, with the Opera House in front of me, and the Bridge to one side, I realized that I hadn’t even unpacked my suitcase, and I had my tripod inside. I hurried down to my room, located the tripod and headed back up to the roof. I attached the camera to the tripod and adjusted the settings for long exposure, training it on the Opera House and opening the shutter. Hopefully this would be a good photo. Just then – BOOM – a dazzling display of fireworks started. How good was my timing? There must be something on, I didn’t know and really didn’t care – I was just so happy to be in the right place at the right time. I took shot after shot while the display was on, and then afterwards turned the tripod around so that the camera was facing the Bridge.

  While I was occupied on the roof, I made the time to call Emily as my phone was now had a full charge, and I couldn’t put if off any longer! I tried to be cheerful when I called, hoping to put off the inevitable explanations until we could speak in person, but she guessed from my voice that all was not well.

  “What happened?” She asked sharply, “Was it a man? It was a man, wasn’t it? You can tell me, we can whinge together about all the rotten things they have done, I have found out so much about my ex, I can’t believe how stupid I was. So, what happened? Tell me, tell me, tell me!”

  Unable to resist her persistence, I told her about Adam. And Lisa. I then had to hold the phone away from my ear due to the torrent of very loud expletives that issued from the loudspeaker. When Lisa had calmed down a little, she said:

  “You will be home on Monday night? Ok, I am coming around. With some wine. You supply the chocolates. You can tell me all about it then, I still get the impression you are only telling me half of the story”.

  We talked for a little longer, towards the end of the conversation I remembered the invitation from Judy and told Emily about it, then I hung up, worried that although Emily seemed very concerned about me, I also thought that there was something that she was holding back. Well, it would have to wait for Monday night, there was nothing I could do from here.

  It was now quite dark, and as I hoped to get the light trail of the headlights and tail-lights of cars going over the bridge I took a few more shots. I couldn’t wait to get home and download these photos onto my computer.

  I stayed up on the roof for a few hours, and then, tired from all the walking I had done today, packed up my tripod and camera and went back to my room, where after a quick shower, I fell into a deep slumber. It was the best sleep I had managed since Suva. In the morning, I resolved that if physical activity was the way to avoid the broken nights, tears and nightmares that had plagued me for the last four nights, then that was my new strategy for dealing with my hurt.

  The next day, I overslept and woke up with sore feet. I decided not to stay in bed however, as I kept thinking that maybe it had all been a bad dream, maybe Adam was just in the bathroom and would come back to join me in the bed. There had not been a Lisa, there had not been an ugly scene. No, this would not do, I had to get out of bed and keep active. So I showered, dressed, grabbed my camera and then went to the market. I browsed the stalls, not being able to scrape up and interest in anything, until I saw the fudge. One thing I loved even more than soup, was chocolate. I bought several different types of fudge, some for me and some to eat with Emily’s wine. I then decided to explore in a different direction from the previous day, and headed to Hyde Park. It was a long walk, which was exactly what I needed.

  I passed my time in Sydney in this fashion, finding lots to do to keep myself busy. On Monday morning, it was time to head to the airport for my flight back to Melbourne. Unlike my last flight, this one was not full of excitement. I was happy to be going home, and looking forward to breaking Snowball out of “kitty jail”, and catching up with Emily, but I remembered that excitement that I had felt at the start of my holiday, and missed that freedom. I also missed that piece of mind that I had felt before Adam turned my world upside down.

  20.

  When I picked Snowball up, it was every bit as bad as I had feared. When the owner of the cattery and I went to the group cage to collect him and to transfer him into
his cat carrier, he gave me a look that said he would remember my betrayal of him, and there would be consequences.

  I let him out at home, and he stalked off a short distance, and then sat with his back to me. I thought it might be best to ignore him, and to give him time to get over his anger, so I went into my bedroom to unpack, as after arriving home from the airport I had just dumped my bags on my bed, then gone straight out again to bring Snowball home. I turned to look for the key to unlock the suitcase, and when I turned back I nearly tripped over Snowball! Without me hearing, he had sauntered into my room, sat right where I had just been standing, and turned his back to me again. Ah, so that’s how it was going to be? He was going to ignore me, but I had to know that I was being ignored, so he had to position himself where I could see him. Ok, I thought, I will let him have his little temper tantrum. I just started unpacking, and working around him as best I could. I was doing just fine, until I found Adam’s t-shirt and sweat pants. I had worn them back to my room on the morning we went to Suva, and of course I never had the chance to return them. I lifted the t-shirt to my nose and inhaled. The scent of my perfume was mingled with the scent of Adam’s cologne, and I sat down on my bed, with the garments clutched in my hands, and started to cry again. Soon, I felt a small nose nudging my arm. I lifted my arm and Snowball climbed on to my lap. I held onto his little furry body and cried.

  By the time Emily arrived in a taxi, I had stopped crying, but it was obvious that I had been. She swayed in on crutches and wearing a moon boot, and embraced me without speaking. Then she limped to the kitchen, thunked the bottle down on the bench and said:

  “Time for some serious drinking. Did you get chocolate?”

  I brought out the fudge I had bought at The Rocks market, as well as all the excess chocolates from the ship that I had resisted eating, and Emily pounced on it. I opened the wine and poured it into two glasses, and we sat at my kitchen table. Under Emily’s prompting, I told her more about Adam, and she squealed in horror when I told her about the scene at Suva.

  “No! She didn’t! She turned up there with her luggage? What a cow!”

  I laughed, Emily was just what I needed. However, Emily clearly had some things that she needed to explain to me:

  “Ok, your turn to spill now. Why the crutches and the moon boot? And what did you mean when you told me on the phone you had found out some things about your ex?”

  Emily took a deep breath, and began to tell me some of her story.

  “Well, the accident was worse than I told you. I let you think that I had only badly sprained my ankle, but it was broken. No, don’t interrupt me”, she said as I went to speak, “I knew if I told you the truth that you wouldn’t go on that cruise, and you really needed to go. I think I did a pretty good job of pulling the wool over your eyes on that one, didn’t? I” She said smugly. Emily then went on:

  “I have been dying to tell you about Justin. The reason he dumped me is because he was cheating on me with Eileen from accounts!”

  “Get out!” I screamed, my troubles forgotten for the moment. “How did you find out?”

  “Well, I had suspicions that Justin had been seeing someone else, but he kept denying it. Then I went in to work to take in a doctor’s certificate. Obviously since I haven’t been there for a while, they have gotten a bit careless about keeping their fling private, and I saw him walking her back inside after lunch, they were all over each other, it was disgusting”, she said, making a face as if she had just eaten something rancid.

  I asked Emily what she was going to do when she went back to work, and exactly when would she be going back to work.

  “Well, the doctor tells me that sitting at a desk all day is not the way to get my ankle healed quickly, and to tell the truth, I am not all that keen to face that harlot right now. She knew Justin and I were together, but she took up with him anyway. I would probably hit her over the head with my keyboard and get fired, and she’s not worth it”. Emily made a face as she thought about Eileen and Justin.

  “So, I have put in for some unpaid leave. I am getting a percentage of my salary from the vehicle accident insurance luckily, so if I am careful I can get by. That will cut out when I am able to go back to work, so I am looking for something else in the meantime. I am hoping to find a better job before I have to go back there”.

  Just as Emily had done for me, I got up and gave her a big hug. I had been so wrapped up in myself, that I hadn’t noticed until now what my friend had been going through. Some friend I was!

  “Anyway”, Emily continued, “Tell me about your new friends and this barbeque we are going to this Saturday. Obviously you will have to drive, so good news for me, I can have a few drinks without worrying about driving home – if you look hard enough, you can always find that silver lining behind every cloud!”

  At this, I remembered the liqueur and the other presents, and fetched them to give to Emily. She was really pleased. Thankfully my memory hadn’t failed me, and the liqueur was one of her favourites, and she opened the bottles of lotions and inhaled deeply, closing her eyes in pleasure.

  Emily and I talked for hours, then she called another taxi to go home. I put her gifts in a carry bag so that she could manage them when she got home, and helped her into the cab. I would have driven her home, but I had drunk too much myself as well, after we had finished the wine that Emily had brought, we had finished off another one of mine as well. Before Emily left, we arranged that I would pick her up the next day. I had an appointment with the architect, and as Emily was still at home not able to go into work, she was bored. Not only would the outing be good for her, but maybe she might have some insights that I would not and could make some suggestions about what I should do about the house.

  21.

  As it turned out, it was a wonderful idea of mine to take Emily to visit the architect. Emily was a fabulous cook and was able to look at the plans of the kitchen and make a few suggestions that I hadn’t thought of. Emily rekindled my excitement in my future plans, which had taken a battering after my disastrous affair with Adam (because that’s how I was thinking of it now – if he had really gone back to Lisa, then that made me the dreaded ‘other woman’). Emily’s interest in the plans for the house, and her exclamations of delight over the pictures of the house as it was, put a bit of spark back into me. There was also an unexpected benefit for Emily as well. When my architect enquired of Emily how she had ended up on crutches, Emily told her about the accident and how she was currently off work and looking for a change in direction. Mary, the architect who I had come to know quite well, sat back and looked at Emily for a few seconds, and then seeming to come to a decision, said:

  “I grew up on a farm out along the Gippsland coast. We lived in a little two bedroom farmhouse, that was built over a hundred years ago. A few years ago, my parents built a new house on the farm, and moved into it. They have been thinking of renting out the old house for farm holidays, but it needs a bit of work, just light work, the inside needs repainting and such. If you think you could do it, considering your injury, you can stay in the house rent free until you are done. My parents are no longer up to the work, although they still potter about the farm, I don’t have time, and the quotes they got from handymen are more than they can afford. If you aren’t going to hurt yourself trying to do more than you should, this could be a win-win for everyone”.

  Emily and I looked at each other, and before I could even blink, Emily said “Done” and reached over the table where Mary had spread the plans for my house, and shook Mary’s hand. I shook my head in amazement. Life was incredible.

  We all talked a while longer, and Mary gave me the names and addresses of some shops where I could get some ideas for appliances and fixtures. Emily and I had a light lunch at my favourite café, and while Emily talked excitedly about how the farmhouse was going to give her some breathing space, I looked around, spying some of my photos on the wall, and imagining Adam doing the same thing. That made me start in shock, what if Ada
m should come in while I was sitting here? Was I ready for that? The proprietor herself brought over our food, and as she put it down, Laura took a card out of her pocket and said:

  “Emily, the strangest thing happened. A man came in here a couple of days ago, and told me he had bought one of your pictures several months ago. He didn’t look familiar, but then we do get a lot of people through. He asked for your phone number or address, saying he had met you on a cruise ship recently, and had lost your number. This man was a real looker and a smooth talker, so, good for you if you know him, but I didn’t want to give your details out to a stranger, and I told him that. He wasn’t happy, but he wrote down his name and number for me and made me promise to give it to you. I have been meaning to call you, but we’ve been flat out here and I forgot. But here you are now, saving me the trouble”. With that, she fished a page from her order form out of her pocket. I took it from her, and thanked her for keeping my private details private. Laura nodded and left as there were orders piling up on the bench to be taken out to the other tables.

  I turned the slip of paper over, and written on the back was a phone number, and the words “Adam Blake. We have to talk. Please call me”.

  So that was his surname. How embarrassing that I had been intimate on so many occasions with a man whose surname I didn’t even know. Although to be fair, I hadn’t volunteered mine either, he had worked it out as it had seen it signed on the photo he had purchased here. I looked up at Emily, stricken.

  “What are you going to do?” Emily asked, concern etched in her face.

  “I don’t know. I might call him later. Not today. Not tomorrow. When I feel up to it. I don’t know why he wants to talk, perhaps to ask for his clothes back?” I giggled nervously.